Be Legendary

Sometimes it seems like you just can't avoid that creepy miserable feeling in your stomach that tells you bad times are coming. Something's gone screwy at work. Or somebody you care about is pissed off at you for something and you know you deserve it. Or a deadline is approaching that you know you can't meet. Or you gotta deliver some bad news to somebody who hates getting bad news.

And it gets increasingly difficult to step outside your body and take that important mental step of reminding yourself just how goddamn good you got it.

Well, that's why we set aside one day every year to appreciate our own ridiculously good luck. It's a worthy holiday. Here's what I do. Every time a negative whiny ass thought enters my brain on Thanksgiving, I take 30 seconds to think of 2 or 3 positive things that make it seem trivial.

Turkey's kinda dry? Have a yam covered in marshmallows. Watch a football game on your big TV. Go out back and smoke a cigar like an asshole.  Throw your arms around your special lady and give her a smooch.

NBA lockout blues? Go to youtube and check out some classics. Like this game from 1986 where Larry Bird scored 22 points...with his left hand.



I remember watching this game live. It's absolutely nuts. These men are the best in the world at what they do. And Larry Bird is toying with them.

Feeling old, fat, and ugly?  Eat some food, drink a few down, and think about somebody you know who's dead or will be soon, and what they'd give to be just fat and ugly right now.

Then go do something that you can still do pretty well. I bet you are as good a bike rider now as you were at 15. And you're every bit the drinker you were at 22. Celebrate your relative youth.

I know you probably have some real problems that aren't going away any time soon. I'm sure you're in for an absolutely shitty Monday morning at work. I bet your thrills these days aren't the same thrills you had ten years ago.

But you've got a couple days now, days you own, so use 'em. There is no better time of year to do what you want to do and feel good about it than right now. A lot of people don't have that choice, you ungrateful twerp.

Do it. It's what the dead would want you to do.